Should I have visitors in the hospital while my baby is being born?

In our clinic elevator the other day, I observed a pregnant woman and her partner debating which day of the week the woman should be induced. The partner suggested a Thursday or Friday – it’s the end of the week, he said, and they could have friends stop by the hospital during the long (often boring) induction process. Also, they’d have the weekend for visitors after the baby was born.

But the woman wasn’t so sure; she was overwhelmed at the thought of having to “entertain” visitors. Recognizing me from the clinic, she asked for my opinion. My response? Having guests in Labor and Delivery is a personal decision, and the choice depends on your modesty level, how you feel after delivery, and your baby’s health. 

But don’t all moms have guests during or after childbirth?

No. Most women fall into one of two camps regarding visitors at the hospital: bring ’em all or none at all. There’s a lot going on during labor and delivery, and most women aren’t at peak perfection during this time. From dealing with labor pains to knowing how much of their body will be exposed, some women are uncomfortable having more than their partner or doula there to bear witness.

I’m a little concerned that we’ve turned labor into a spectator sport. I think that guests should be reserved for those who will provide the most support for the laboring mom. But oftentimes I see invitations being issued like you might for a wedding or graduation, and couples feel the need to make sure each side is equally represented.

If you’re on the fence about whether to have visitors as you await delivery, consider these four factors before making a guest list.

1. You’re going to be pretty exposed.

There can be a lot of activity during labor, some of which you may not want people to see. For example, your body will be exposed when nurses come in to check your cervix for dilation, when an anesthesiologist places an epidural, or when the doctor breaks your bag of water. Most women wear a hospital gown with no undergarments, and you might also have a catheter in your bladder. Sure, you can ask visitors to step out to the waiting room every time an exam is being performed or a sensitive topic is discussed, but that can get old fast.

2. You might be in considerable pain.

Depending on how you choose to handle pain management, you might not feel up to having guests in the room. While many women feel comfortable with their partner or doula seeing them deal with the pain and discomfort of labor, most don’t want friends or colleagues to see them in that state.

3. You can’t predict emergency situations.

Things can change quickly during delivery, such as the need for an emergency cesarean-section (C-section) delivery. If a problem arises that could affect the health of you or your baby, guests will have to leave the room to make way for more nursing staff members, midwives, or physicians. The focus of your health care team will be to make sure you and your partner understand exactly what is happening and what the plan is, rather than keeping your guests up to date.

4. Your doctors and nurses aren’t babysitters.

Any children you allow to visit must be supervised by an adult at all times. Make sure the person who is going to stay with you through thick and thin has no childcare responsibilities, and don’t ask the Labor and Delivery staff members to keep an eye on unsupervised children in the waiting room.

Having visitors during labor is very different than having visitors after you’ve had the baby. But just as it’s your choice prior to delivery, it’s up to you whether you invite friends or family into your recovery room.